To me from a friend...

I loved your blog tonight. I need to hear more of this kind of stuff. I need to call you every day and hear your uplifting mantras: train like an athlete, think like an athlete!

I am stuck. I exercise 3 times a week, for an hour each time. I love how I feel when I work out. I am going to try for 4 days this week. I am learning more of how much an emotional eater I am. I didn't know I was until I had kids. I'm at my pre-pregnancy weight, but I still have a little extra fluff around my middle. But I don't care enough to stop eating so much sugar! I stop, and then I feel rebellious and binge! I ate 5 or 6 Cadbury Creme eggs in the past 4 days!! plus some other chocolate. Yikes.

Other than sugar, I eat well: lots of fruits and veggies, lean proteins, beans, beans, beans, but thanks to sugar, I have a little pooch that won't go away with all the sit ups in the world. I'm a size 12 (just barely bigger than I was after my 1st baby) and "happy" with it. "Happy" = too lazy to do what it takes to get rid of my pooch.

I just put a hold on that book you mentioned about eating clean.

I guess I was just wondering if you had any more mantras to pass on, to help me be happier about passing on sugar, and not feel resentful and rebellious about it. It's so ridiculous, because I know what I need to do, but don't want to. My stomach hurt so bad last night after eating all that chocolate. I liked what you said about asking myself how eating such-and-such will make me feel. I guess, in my rebellion, the 3 seconds of pleasure seems worth it, like I'm punishing myself. ??? I can't think of a better way to describe it.

My reply:
I'm so glad you read my blog! I am learning so much! I completely understand what you are saying about punishing ourselves, for lack of a better way to put it.

I think a big part of it for me is jumping back on the train once I indulge. A treat in the mid-morning can lead to a day of bad choices. I am trying to learn my trigger points so I can recognize them and create solutions. Waiting for example, if we are waiting for something, anything, and we're in the kitchen that leads me to eat. If the kids are driving me crazy and I want to distract myself I find myself eating. Even when I have been doing really well for several days there will come a day when I'm not completely focused because of company or something and I realize I'm eating crackers when I haven't been eating them at all lately. I have to wake myself out of my trance and re-focus.

I'm going to work hard to be healthy so why not look and feel great? I want to burn has much fat off my body as possible and since I really love working out anyway it's even more fun to really push myself on intense programs! I love the euphoria I feel after an awesome workout!

I'm still not perfect on my food, but I'm making great progress... again it's so important to jump right back on the train!! I think about the scripture story of the righteous army leader who was on his hill completely guarded and safe and the bad guy kept sending him notes asking him to come down so they could talk. I can't remember if the good guy finally went down and the bad guy of course was lying about just wanting to talk and so the good guy died, or if he was smart and he just knew the bad guy would kill him. Anyway... when I'm in my zone, on my hill I'm grand! I've also gotten really good at not eating just because others are. I went to BQ the other day for the indoor playground, but the gals I was with ordered hamburgers and fries. They asked a few times if I wanted something and I said no. I enjoyed the visit and was really glad that I wasn't eating that, instead of watching them while drooling. In other words I was happily content! :) Every once in a while the enemy gets me down. And I've pin pointed that it's mid-after noon usually when my kindergartner gets home, my baby is tired, sometimes I'm a little worn, if my 4 year old is tired she's whining, and we're in the kitchen because kindergartner needs a snack. It starts an emotional roller coaster and I can find myself snitching for the rest of the day.

So, I don't beat myself up. I plan strategically. Make the kindergartner's snack before I pick her up so I don't have to handle food during the break down. I have voices lessons on Wed. and I'm always STARVING after wards. So, after a few times of eating a lot, and some bad stuff after class I make my lunch and eat it while I drive home. I'm relaxed, not starving and it works for me.

You have to reach an emotional commitment before you can really go for it. If I want to do it, but don't want to do it I just keep reading until I feel the fire starting inside me. Then I say, Ok, tomorrow I'm starting and I go hard core! It's easier to jump back on the train after a slip when you're hard core. Plus, tell people what you're trying to do. They will notice your progress and you'll feel accountable. My husband knows how hard I'm working and I'm going to show him I'm dedicated and will get my results. And, a BIG reason why I'm doing it is to bring him along the journey. He's the best man in the world and I'm going to take care of him, his heart, everything by feeding him good, clean foods, and supporting him in being active.